by Lorrie Kazan
A verison of this article appeared in the Association for Research & Enlightenment’s imprint Personal Spirituality,
I believe that tough times never come without miracles. The tough times can even break us open to a higher plane of existence if we work with spiritual principles. I don’t know if I originally thought that way in the late 1980s. It was a time in my life that seemed scarred by loss. Still, I was young and kept reaching out.
I joined the A.R.E. and began working more diligently with spiritual principles. I also applied for and received a partial scholarship to the Aspen Writers’ Conference.
I’d attended this annual event once before, and it had been magical. Since writers work so much alone and deal with doubt and hope and all those emotions that surround creativity, attending a conference like this for the second time seemed like an answer to a lot of my pain and fear. Having at least a partial scholarship helped me feel that my submitted work had been valued.
People attend writing conferences hoping to be discovered or to connect with others who understand the often reclusive and interior writer’s life. However, upon arrival, I quickly found myself shunned. Apparently, I had angered the wrong person, and she had spread rumors about me. I was labeled a problem person, and to be avoided. Most of my life I had been considered “too sensitive.” Growing up in a turbulent home, I’d learned to perceive possible threats before they materialized. But living a defensive life was tiring, and I had committed to change.
I accepted Edgar Cayce’s assertion that our relationship with our Creator is paramount, and that there is a higher justice than what we might perceive. Cayce said, “Why worry when you can pray?” Now I had a concentrated opportunity where I consciously decided to test that. I prayed to feel God’s presence within me and to reflect that in the world. I asked to be less my “personality,” and more the presence of Spirit. I knew I could effectively counterattack my “rival” with words, but the results of that activity didn’t reflect love and kindness, which were my ideals. I asked that I be accurately seen, and the truth revealed.
Aligned with Spirit, I was also aligned with gentleness and calm. Within days, people began to see who I was, as opposed to what they’d been told. Rather than fighting to be seen, I had become clear about what I stood for, and what behavior was acceptable for me.
I’ve always loved the quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Who you are stands over you and thunders so loudly that I cannot hear what you are saying to the contrary.” In fact, the lies began to turn back on the one who spread them.
It was painful for me to feel hated and rejected in this small community where I had hoped to find solace from the grief. However, I kept choosing to reach for something higher, something I could respect, and something that would last. I recalled Cayce’s assertion, “Thoughts are things. Mind is the builder.” I monitored my thoughts. I wanted a better life than what I was experiencing, and I knew that had to start from within. If I could connect so strongly with a higher power, or even a higher concept, no one could take that from me. My “rival” had sought to uplift herself by destroying me, but I wasn’t destroyed. I chose consciousness instead. I strengthened my spiritual muscles and left the results in God’s hands. It was a template for the life I was now going to lead.
Lorrie Kazan is on of the A.R.E.’s recommended psychics.
